Former English skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and not wanting to really process that at the minute," he commented.
"It isn't that I am unaware of where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is certainly a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present wellbeing, his family and getting ready for when the illness progresses.
"Perhaps that's shock or perhaps I deal with matters uniquely, and when I have the details, it's simpler," he added.
Initial Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his shoulder area while training in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the problem, a number of scans indicated nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly quite moved about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't sense ill. I don't feel sick
"My symptoms are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I continue to be capable of performing all activities. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Illness Development
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the condition kills a one-third of people within a 365 days and more than half within 730 days of identification, as ingestion and inhalation become harder.
Medical care can only delay deterioration.
"It's not me that I am upset for," added an moved Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Effect
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he mentioned breaking the news to his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was quite heartbreaking," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the sofa in crying, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and began cleaning the drops off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody stated the focus was being in the present.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be very strongly directed on just welcoming and appreciating everything now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very lucky that the only real determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as attainable. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Association
Professional competitors are excessively influenced by MND, with studies suggesting the incidence of the illness is up to 600% greater than in the broader public.
It is considered that by restricting the air obtainable and causing damage to nerve cells, consistent, strenuous training can activate the disease in those already genetically susceptible.
Athletic Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless approach to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a practice scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a tackle pad and started participating in tackles.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the line-out in the decisive moment of play, setting a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop kick.
Backing Network
Moody has already told Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a couple of other previous players about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that sort of affection and acceptance that people are available is what's important," he commented.
"This game is such a excellent group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even if it ended now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to label your love your profession, it's one of the most important honors.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will wish to support in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
